The Six Bitches of my Life.

I am trying to sleep here..cant you see that?

I was irritated...irritated with her every small antics. My Experience taught me not to try to read a mind which was resting on pretty shoulders and if she was a lady, you had to be aware, i had lost and learnt a lot of time to forget and re-learn my lessons.Life's lessons were always pretty clear, somehow my mind told me that but my heart never seemed to agree.

It always retaliated to my mind saying this doesn't hold fair in today's world, you need to keep trying until you succeed and there i would be standing again in the line to be fooled again by yet another master stroke from the God who manned the mortals.

I collected six stories out of my loss, they came saw battered me and made me plead for life with them and in the end laughed at my destiny and left.

Today i was lying next to her...the seventh felony of my life probably, but i decided to heck with her and i decided to lose. That was when i started telling her bare my stories...

The Six Bitches of my Life.

Hold Pace

Close the door...Me said to Myself. Bang it went, had my sights set on the window, was a temptation but finally decided to close it as well. Fresh air should not enter the room filled with thoughts, lest they fly away. I pulled open my drawer and brought the books out, they had started to smell rotten. Mind and Books are alike in this aspect, they start breeding rotten garb if kept idle for some time. After nasal provish or improvishness testified for themselves, it was the turn to test Ears. Heard some sensible person advise, Never keep advises to yourself, God has given you two ears which are exactly in symmetry with each other, ever wondered why? If you are an architect and have worked on drawing stuffs like Autocad and all you might be tempted to think its because of the mirror command, as symmetry is easy to create, but giving God benefit of doubt, I assume he does manual draughting and if thats the case, Symmetry should be something pleasant. Anyways he gave us two ears within "Breathing" distance of each other and direct in line so that you might recieve from one end and give it a deserving exit from another. But when it moves that path, the brain is left over with some residues of "Passing Thought". In due course of time this passing thing metamorphoses into a lump which is called everlasting impression about yourselves attained by you courtesy others. and God forbid, if you took the untrodden path in life and took conventional or unconventional decisions, lump is going to become too big, so big that it might hinder the Natural path and approach to your thought process.

By now you might have got my dilemma pretty much, life’s been lots of unconventional stuff, things about which i never heard about, decisions which nobody advised and nobody supported and advises which i never heeded to. There is a system and there is an order about the dis-order of my life. But things are changing everyday and they evolve everyday to lead me into an unventured and unexplored realm whenever i try to settle into a sedate rhythm around my life.

There are two types of lessons in life, one which you get from books and others which you get from everything other than books. The latter one is a widespread knowledge for which lots of skills are required, for that you need to open the window and let the fresh air in, but the former, can only be holistically attained when you close the windows, doors, limit the fresh air and capture the ideas within a stale environment until your mind slowly absorbs them and keeps it within your storehouse.

Door stayed shut, sufi music started blowing slowly and everything just got dark.

jabse hosh sambhaala...pyar k baare mein bahut suna...pyaar kyaa hota hain kaise hota hain kiss tarah sey issey dur rehna chahiye...kaise pyaar ek baar zaroor karna chahiye...pyaar kiya nahii jaata ho jaata hain.

Pyaar ko leke bahut kitaabein hain humaare saahitya mein...har doosri movie kii central theme pyaar hoti hain humaare yahaan. bachpan sey jawaani takk pyaar k kaseede padey kisse suney magar pyaar nahii kiya. Har doosri ladki sey pyaar ho jaata thha, karne kii zaroorat nahi padhi, fir humne dil ko samjhaaya pyaar yehh nahii hota. Logo sey sunaa pyaar wohh hota hain jissme aap ghanto fone pey lagey rehte hain, din ko sham aur shaam ko subah samajhne lagte hain, Jab din bhar aapko uss phone kii gantii bajne ka intezaar rehta hain, jab aapko apneaap ko paagal kehlaane mein garv mehsoos hota hain.

Humne apne aap ko samjhaaya k vyangya rass k kawi hone k naate humein pyaar karne kaa hak nahii fir dekha jab poori duniya pyaar mein doobi hui hain tohh hum kyun nahii. Soca chalo yeh shauk bhii sahii, aakhir hum bhii pyaar karke dekhe. Dekhne mein masha allah hum bhii kam nahii thhe aur ek haseen mohtarma kii kamii thhi. Tohh humne apnii talaash shuru karii

The Luck SUCKS....srsly...I mean how do i manage to screw up everytime...Sitting in Hyderabad today nd cursing my luck won't just do, I realised as it happened again. How often would you have to leave your share of golden moments to clear up somebody else's shit just because You know how to wipe asses and nobody else does around you does. It was a sucker of a luck when i imagined Nauman today sitting in Amsterdam, nd I jotting my guts down here in obscurity. Aah..i can't belive I had to be in FrankFurt by morning and Amsterdam by now but as always....my LUCK just sucks and funniest part was everybody said it. Staring blankly at the phone, I had the urge to dial the number i dreaded to dial. Its a strange device and a crazy gadget I wondered, my life was so uncomplicated without it.

I mean how could anybody imagine about it, just figure yourself standing 15 years in past and somebody coming up to you says, Hey Dude, take this gadget, with this you can be present anywhere and can disturb anybody anytime with anything you want.

But anyways, being in the future and giving the invention it's due respect I dialled the number. "Hi", it said from the other end, "I thought you would never call, I am glad you did". I just could'nt belive what I was doing but then I just played on, i was choked of my luck to think any further, "No, it isn't that, it's just that I have been very busy of late and just could'nt contact."

"Anyways I was searching for a local guide and was hoping you could find me a tour around, good that you have time for old friends as well, I badly needed a company".

"HussainSagar is a nice place to see, would see you at 5'o clock probably".

I just watched myself in the mirror, my belly seemed inflated as if with ego on me or maybe carried the dirtload of all the crap i had been stuffing it with and then picked up the watch. It was 11'o clock and i needed a streaming hot coffee. A Glance back at my bed was my way to curse my fortune or rather marvel at it, maybe God wanted me to stay back so that i could understand that I was still game. The booty at my bed was a witness to it and I could'nt just think otherwise. She wanted me to return to bed but I had a coffee to catch rather than giving Missionary advises anymore, as a sense of gratitude I prepared it for her but something was there in that coffee which made her eyes full of flowing rivers. I smelled the beans and decided to buy a different set next time.

"4 Years we have been together", she said. "But the vision of life we saw, the promises he did to me and the agony which i went through has all been farce. I have been faking my life all through it". The emotions were running heavy in the room and ideally i need to reassure her that it was nothing we did wrong, but the situation just made me ponder over the worthlessness and the farcical nature of the time with which she had moved to my bed after meeting me after a long time. I decided to take mine and her conscience head-on. "Then why did you do this? Do you have any answers for it, does your actions depend over some other soul's discretion? Or is there some voice within you which drove you to my bed?". i thought I had made her speechless, "You are as naked on the bed as I am, do I need to carry the burden of a lady in reality check or is it just your chauvinistic candour which would get the credit".

Frankly speaking I never thought she had brains, but what rattled me the most was her balls on display. I agree a man's balls are smaller than a woman maybe but their strategic location on the body somehow makes them genetically superior to the lady's assets. well, the point here was that I was rattled but as i had to retort I just shot back, "Sorry for not having a commitment, If i had one and broke it as blatantly as you, maybe you would feel better".

Needless to say, she broke down. The Hornet's Nest was stirred, The Pandora's Box was open and this was my motive. Her motive always was to get over with her frustations of a love affair gone bad, to forget a crappy bed and to lie across to a new body, an odour with which she was aware. We both had our agenda's, it was her turn to act missionary now, albeit in a different context.
"What do you want, Why did you meet me afterall, I thought you knew why i wanted to meet you".
"Yes, I knew and i wanted you to lie down here and then tell me what made you cheat on your boyfriend".
"Okay then I think I owe you this one, because you gave in to my request and helped me out of what I thought was Love but somehow always smelled treason".

Here I am....

Don't get me wrong....i am nt any bryan adams with least resemblance or leastest affinity to musicz.....bt yaa get along with the video...anyways that was not what i was craving to write since an year....thats the tym i took to return to the writing of my blog...
But i guess the time has changed a lot and somehow somewhat i have gt cornered softened nd intimidated by life.
So the day was happening so to say, had not much pressure on workfront, but friends yes.....and i had to get Paresh a decent flat which i eventually did so that my travels to office become comfortable and besides biggest thing was that we stay nearby to increase the affinity quotient.
Needless to say Vikku dev returned back after a long stay in US and he has that typical Indians this....Indians that tone....I think its nt intentional but definitely Impulsive or reactive which comes before observing every thing....Guys i need to catch this ROadies...so lets keep the rest for days ahead :)

contd......The Lady

He could not think how to draw the hair because his mind was distraught between all the proportions of the nature but his heart knew what exactly was needed, and when those locks fell in place god was astonished to note the similarity which they had with the intertwined branches of the trees which gave shade and bread to every passer-by who was tired and they seemed to be endlessly flowing which gave them the grace of the river which satiates the thirst of every traveller which might have not reached his destination but knows that there is nothing more divine than resting in those endless locks and enjoying the thirst-quenching water it offered. The forehead, it was just like the valley on which the mountains love to rest their peaks. Those flat places of land are a breather and a sense of joy to the trekker who has scaled millions of challenges and has borne testimony to hard days of work for reaching the summit and this is his reward, the soothening effect and the vivacity it exudes, this is what he was living for. This is what the forehead of a lady looked like.
Infact the forehead stood to determine the face which was tough to create and tougher to explain, but it was easy to feel, easy to be amazed with and easy to feel a sense of eternity upon. When god started to make it he had a Red Rose in his mind, as the mould started progressing it just left the scent of rose behind. It was not a simple inanimate feature stamped on any material, it was a feeling, it was an etho, which a tired man after a complete day of hard work returned to see and as soon as he stared at it, all his pains went away. He forgot how hard he had worked and how much he slogged the entire day because the mere look at her smiling face made his day and make him feel as if it was the homecoming of a victorious King to his heavenly abode. But the God was just not satisfied, infact he was so enchanted by that smile itself that he wanted to give eternity to it, infact he got so much moved by this creation that he poured a little vial of enchanting liquid on her face to preserve the eternity of that smile. But he forgot that the Man was not the creature who would appreciate that eternity, infact Man was a strange creature. He just did not like the things that were eternal because he was always suspicious of its eternity. Man in himself was a creation which wanted to preserve things but was afraid of their vitality so he became possessive of it, he wanted to cage the free spirit of it. He wanted to package that smile and in that process he fell in love with it and herewith obsession was born. There fore what God aspired to be the boon for the Lady turned out to be her bane. She was blamed when anybody fell in Love with her smile and henceforth enchanting came to be associated with grey shades of vibes. If she spread her smile around she was thought of bewitching people and enchanting them, because the fact stayed as it is, people fell in love with her whenever she smiled. Those who had their conveniences stacked against falling in love blamed her and started to hate her. God was astonished to see it, he was so revved up in making the rose that he suddenly noticed that he had himself pricked his hand and set himself bleeding, aah there were the thorns which he forgot to remove.
He was more stable now, he didn’t want to commit any more mistakes in the masterpiece he was attempting, this piece had to be perfect. So after making an enchanting face he set off to give her a stable and sensible outlook here on, what he didn’t realise was that he was about to design her heart.

Woman---The Mirage Inherent

Its difficult to evolve yourself into a new creature and god knew that he could not embody his (Ansh) into multiple beings but he knew somewhere deep down his heart that he needed to pass on the gift of creation to a creature agog with his own creativity who could carry it to……..but with this immense power came the pain and he could not breed any person to do it. He tried and made many tutelages of his own to gift them the power of creation but he found that they were not strong enough to carry his word through. He tried a lot but whenever he tried to make, he just created a prototype of the same diffident sort that he was creating. He tried to concentrate and he tried hard and with every hard try he gave a much better result with every successive creature having a gift of better brainpower and capable of better thought with more diverse power to live than the previous one but somehow he felt that it was not adept to bear the pain of creativity, who could not bred patiently a new life to see the light of the day. He became frustrated with himself and decided to give up because he was short of ingredients to create a perfect piece to bred the succinct humanity.
Devoid of rest since ages in his pursuit he felt the urge to sleep. Then he had the vision, and he was fast asleep when he made Women, because he had to be dreaming to carve out that masterpiece. It wasn’t possible for any humanly body, not even god for that case could carve out with his naked eyes wide open,a masterpiece that pristine which had perfection written all over it. He had to had all his senses wide awake, to smell the aromas of the fresh air which whiffs past you when it is about to rain, to hear the clatter of the tweety birds which wait for the sun to wake up so that they can signal the dawn, to arouse his tactile senses and have a heartful look at sandal which is about to bred in its youth, and to rise up above savouring all these senses and convert them into a sculpture which would bear a testimony of his gracious hand and his finesse in gifting the mankind a sculpt which embodied his most divine gift, THE STRENGTH TO CREATE.
His hand started moving and everything just fell in place. He did not know how it was done because he wasn’t himself awake at that time and he felt that his brain stopped working for some time, but this time his hand was going slow because it was controlled by his heart when he made this creature of his. He could not think how to draw the hair because his mind was distraught between all the proportions of the nature but his heart knew what exactly was needed, and when those locks fell in place god was astonished to note the similarity which they had with the intertwined branches of the trees which gave shade and bread to every passer-by who was tired and they seemed to be endlessly flowing which gave them the grace of the river which satiates the thirst of every traveller which might have not reached his destination but knows that there is nothing more divine than resting in those endless locks and enjoying the thirst-quenching water it offered.